ReConnection Magazine ~ Spring 2008 Issue

Personal Renaissance

Compared to the rest of Canada, the southern coast of BC starts to blossom into spring early. By early March, everywhere you look early signs of spring proliferate.

Soon-to-be cherry blossoms scent the evening air, migrating birds are traveling again, raccoons and many other creatures are going to be making babies, and soon night and day will mate as equals, birthing a new cycle. The spring equinox is here: the very beginning of the natural cycle of life and death.

"Know now, at once,
Atoms in all worlds everywhere
Are fire-dancing out of their minds
For the love of Him
When I see your face, the stones start spinning.
Your robe brushes a thorn bush and a deep chord of music sounds.
A red glint occurs in a granite outcrop and the whole cliff turns to
ruby!
This crazy, ecstatic dancing is the One reality – storm after storm of passion on a bed of peace." Rumi

Receiving the new. Welcoming the unknown into every moment. Everyday we are newborn babes suckling on the breast of the universe. Our cells are in a constant renewal process. The unlimited potential of the life force is continually in transformation. Nothing remains the same; everything is in a state of flux.

Change is inevitable; it is an immutable law inherent within the manifestation of the phenomenal world. While accommodating forces undergo transformation with little struggle, resistance to change creates crisis, the stronger the resistance the bigger the crisis.

The seasons can be transposed into our human life cycle: spring spreads from our conception until adolescence; summer expands into the radiance of adulthood; fall retreats into the mellowness of maturity and winter carries us to the end of the cycle leading to more transformations and transfigurations.

The transition between these cycles is often experienced as a crisis for many of us unless we are well versed in the art of acceptance and fluidity. Rebirth is impossible without death. The inability or unwillingness to accept the innumerable little deaths happening on an ongoing basis can create intense inner suffering and/or extreme numbness.

Even though one does not have to undergo a "dark night of the soul" to savor a personal renaissance, a crisis will provide the shock needed to break the ego's grip. When the tower of the ego is destroyed, with its pride, vanity and pretenses one can feel very raw, tender and shaken to the bones. This is not an easy process.

To be attuned to the mother of necessity, honesty is essential. And being honest naturally connects us with the never-ending cycle of beginnings and endings. The question: "What is really going on here?" will bring the purpose of the moment to the foreground, especially when the events or our emotions/behavior are not to our liking. Asking this question allows a shift in perceptions, giving us the ability to see through the veil of our resistance and attachment to what should be.

"At my age I should have figured this out!" I told myself a few months ago, as I contemplated a particular issue in my life. An ideal self-image has a lot of 'should' and it can be maintained for a long time, until our lives feel like a lie. We learned to behave in certain ways in order to please others, we chose our profession to comply with our parents’ wishes, we get married to fit in, and we lie instead of telling the truth. Behind this imposture can be a belief that we are not lovable and a fear of being exposed as we are. We build a façade that not only protects us from what we consider bad but also prevents us from being in the flow with the ever-changing life force.

Our true authentic self might not fit with our ideal self-image. For example, one might have an image of oneself as being "good". This ideal of goodness will create an opposing, dualistic force of "badness". This belief will bring on fear and guilt whenever thoughts, feelings or behavior labeled as "bad" emerge in others or in the self. Then a process of covering up or blaming happens in order to maintain the image of goodness, and this further creates more guilt. It is a cycle that usually builds until a crisis happens to bring one more in touch with the true self.

Authenticity is beyond judgment of good and bad. The denial of negativity leads to wishful thinking, the denial of self and the repression of the life force. Without justifying or condoning negativity, learning to acknowledge and evaluate our less desirable aspects of self will allow integration of what may be called the "shadow" side. It is a difficult process but without this lucid awareness and radical sincerity one cannot develop to one's full potential.

This last year has been intense for me. I was tested on my abilities to apply all these things I teach and believe in. After months of feeling uneasy and very uncomfortable with my life, I realized I was undergoing such a crisis. Everything I was attached to collapsed. All the strategies that used to work did not work anymore. I experienced loss on so many levels that after a while I had nowhere to turn but inward.
My idealized self-image did not fit my life.

So I went in and further in, into a deep state of inquiry, I asked myself "What is really going on here?" And all the loss, the deceit, the pain showed me where I was not able to let go, where I was resisting the life force and where I was not sincere.

I am grateful to have received wise guidance. I now wake to the new day enthused again, nothing much has changed on the outside but I can hear the birds and I am more at peace with myself as I am at the beginning of a new cycle. And peace of mind is such a gift!

Tips for a glorious self-renaissance

• Die before you die
Let go of what is no longer, wake up to the new day. Let go of old grievances and grudges.

• Be honest with yourself
Live according to inner guidance. Have the courage to speak your truth. Fully acknowledge your feelings, especially those you label as "bad" without condoning, rationalizing or excusing. Neither acting them out, repressing or denying them but accepting them as part of your experience. Ask the question: "What is really going on here?" and take a moment to receive inner guidance, breathing deeply in a state of receptivity. This can be a stepping-stone to open your life further, and help redirect the life force in a constructive way.

• Be kind to yourself
Relax, practice yoga, Qi Gong and meditation every day, eat healthy foods, avoid toxins, surrender to the flow, commune with nature, simplify your life, say no when you need to, accept yourself as you are.

• Surprises
Surprise yourself and others with a behavior out of your usual ways: eat with your left hand if you usually eat with your right, say "thank you" in a different language. Make room in your life for unexpected happenings

• Say good-bye to the old
Look around you right now and find 5 objects that you do not need. Get rid of them, give them away. Do the same with your clothes, CD collection, books. Everything you do not use, let it go.

• Do a cleanse
In spring, the body moves into a cycle of rebuilding and cleansing various organs and systems. March 11 through May 22 is a good time to do a cleanse especially for the liver and gall bladder. See Spring 2006 issue for insight on cleansing.

Marise is certified in Thai-Yoga Massage and registered as a Jin Shin Do Body Mind Acupressurist. Her bodywork sessions are also informed by 14 years of practice as a yoga, Qi Gong and dance facilitator. Through her passionate commitment to enhance awareness of our body's wisdom she undertook intensive studies at the Movement Research / New York City, The Naropa Institute / Boulder, Colorado and the European Dance Development Centre in The Netherlands. www.thewellnessqi.com